Okay, so I know I haven’t written anything in a bit… or a long time, but whatever. First I forgot my login information to this site, and just couldn’t be bothered to find it. Then I went on vacation to Egypt with the hubs. And now I’m back to work and have resumed my normal routine…
I’m sure that it doesn’t help that I have an incredibly crappy schedule this semester. Seriously, I have all of my level 3 courses within a 24-hour span. And if I am cranky about it, imagine how cranky my students are about it. But, like everything in this country, this comes from the men’s side… so there isn’t much we can do about it.
I wonder, if I had a better schedule, maybe so tired all the time. It is only 14 hours this semester but with the way my classes are scheduled it’s kind of an inconvenience. But here’s the thing- no matter how much I rest, how much I sleep, I still feel so tired. I’m sure it’s mostly a mental thing, and whenever I’m finally able to go home I’ll feel a lot better. This place is a little bit toxic and really has a way of draining a personal.
I guess I first realized my mental and emotional exhaustion when I got home from Egypt. It’s the first time I took a long vacation that I didn’t immediately go home after. You know how after you travel, you are excited to go back to your family and friends and tell them all about the trip? Well, I can’t exactly do that. I mean M and I went to his family’s house, but it isn’t my family, you know? Like I can’t go see my parents and take them the gifts I bought for them and show them the pictures. I can’t spill every detail about the trip to my best friend over a cup of coffee. He was bummed to have to leave Egypt, yes, but at least he had something to look forward to about returning. I had nothing.
It’s even harder because he and I are in different cities right now, and neither one of us is seeing a chance of transferring in the near future. My manager told me that maybe I can after we get new teachers. We were told we would get 4 new teachers over the winter break, but only two came. I’m trying to be persistent about transferring because I’m so tired of being all alone in this sand trap .
Every time I get the feeling that I want to go home, which is often, I just open my student loans account. Something about those 4 zeroes at the end of my balance remind me that staying here, no matter how exhausting, is something I have to do. So I continue to suck it up, as I have done these past few months, and countdown the days until I can go home.
I hear second semester is the time that people really start to go crazy. Let’s just hope I’m not one of them.